Think Your Spouse Can Make Decisions for You? Think Again—Why You Need a Power of Attorney
The Power of Powers of Attorney: Why It’s the Most Important Document You’ll Need
Did you know that without a Power of Attorney, your spouse or loved ones may not be able to make medical or financial decisions for you if something unexpected happens? Many people assume their family can automatically step in—but that’s not how the law works. If you become incapacitated without this critical document, your loved ones could face lengthy court battles, financial stress, and frustrating delays just to help you. In this guide, we’ll break down why a Power of Attorney is the most important legal document you need, bust common myths, and explain how you can protect yourself before it’s too late.
A Real-Life Nightmare: Why Waiting to Get a Power of Attorney Can Cost You
Imagine this: Sarah and Mike, a married couple in their early 40s, are driving home after a weekend getaway. They’re laughing, reminiscing about their trip, when suddenly—a car swerves into their lane. In an instant, everything changes.
Mike wakes up in the hospital, groggy and disoriented. Sarah, however, is unconscious in the ICU. The doctors need urgent consent for a medical procedure, but there’s a problem—Mike isn’t legally authorized to make medical decisions for her. “But I’m her husband,” he protests. The nurse shakes her head. “Without a power of attorney (POA), you don’t have automatic authority.”
This nightmare scenario plays out more often than people realize. Many assume their spouse or family members can step in during a crisis, but the law doesn’t work that way. And here’s the kicker: by the time you need a POA, it’s often too late to get one.
If you don’t have a POA in place, you could be setting your loved ones up for unnecessary legal battles, financial headaches, and heartbreaking delays when they need to act fast. If the time comes when you can’t make decisions for yourself, your loved ones are already going to be under stress. So, why not make things easier for them just in case the need arises. Preplanning is about giving yourself and your loved ones peace of mind.
Let’s break down why a power of attorney is the most important estate planning document you’ll ever need—and why you need it now.
1. “My Spouse Can Automatically Make Decisions for Me” (No, They Can’t.)
This is one of the biggest misconceptions about Power of Attorney. Many people assume that just because they’re married, their spouse can step in and handle financial or medical decisions in an emergency. Unfortunately, that is not how the law works.
Here’s what can actually happen:
Medical Decisions: If you are in the hospital and unable to communicate, doctors may require a Healthcare Power of Attorney (HCPOA) to allow your spouse to make critical medical choices for you. Without it, they could be stuck in legal limbo, needing court approval before they can act—wasting valuable time when fast decisions matter most.
Financial Access: Your spouse does not automatically have the right to access bank accounts, manage investments, or sell property in your name unless they are a co-owner on every single account. If your paycheck is deposited into an account in your name only, your spouse will not be able to access it to pay the mortgage, bills, or other expenses.
Guardianship Court Battles: Without a Durable Power of Attorney (DPOA) for finances, your spouse may have to go to court to be appointed as your legal guardian—a time-consuming, expensive, and emotionally draining process that can take months and cost thousands of dollars in legal fees.
Real-Life Scenario: The Financial Freeze
John and Lisa have been married for 20 years. John handles the couple’s finances, while Lisa manages the household. One day, John suffers a sudden stroke and is unable to speak or make decisions. Lisa assumes she can access their savings and manage their bills—until she calls the bank.
The bank refuses to grant her access.
Even though they have been married for decades, John’s name is the only one on the account. The only way Lisa can access the funds is by going to court to be named his legal guardian, which could take months and cost thousands of dollars in legal fees. Meanwhile, the mortgage, medical bills, and everyday expenses keep piling up.
Do Not Assume—Plan Ahead
The simple solution? A Power of Attorney ensures your spouse (or another trusted person) has immediate authority to step in and manage your finances or medical care if the unexpected happens.
No court battles
No delays
No unnecessary stress for your loved ones
Do not let your spouse or family get caught in legal red tape. A Power of Attorney is peace of mind in a single document.
2. “I Don’t Need One” (Until You Do… And Then It’s Too Late.)
Many people believe a Power of Attorney is something they can worry about later in life. They assume that unless they are elderly or have a serious medical condition, there is no need to put one in place. Unfortunately, life does not always give us advance notice when something unexpected is about to happen. If you wait until you need a Power of Attorney, it is often too late to get one.
Here’s what can happen if you do not have a Power of Attorney in place:
You become temporarily or permanently incapacitated due to an accident, stroke, or illness, and no one has the legal authority to handle your financial affairs or medical decisions.
Your bills go unpaid, your mortgage, utilities, or rent fall behind, and your family is left scrambling to figure out how to access your funds.
Medical treatment is delayed because your loved ones are caught in a legal battle trying to gain the right to make healthcare decisions for you.
Your family is forced to go through the expensive and time-consuming process of guardianship to gain the ability to manage your affairs.
Real-Life Scenario: The Unexpected Accident
Jason is 32 years old, in great health, and focused on growing his career. Estate planning is the last thing on his mind. He assumes that because he is young and single, he does not need a Power of Attorney.
One weekend, Jason goes on a skiing trip with friends. While navigating a steep slope, he loses control and crashes into a tree. He is knocked unconscious and airlifted to the hospital. His parents rush to his side, only to find out they have no legal authority to make medical decisions for him or access his accounts to handle his bills while he recovers.
Without a Power of Attorney in place, Jason’s parents are forced to petition the court for guardianship, a legal process that takes time and money. Meanwhile, Jason’s rent, utilities, and car payments go unpaid. His credit score takes a hit, and his financial situation becomes more complicated than it should have been. All of this stress could have been avoided with a simple Power of Attorney.
A Power of Attorney Is for Everyone—Not Just Seniors
A Power of Attorney is not just for the elderly. It is for anyone who has assets, responsibilities, or loved ones who would be impacted if they suddenly could not make decisions for themselves.
If you are a young professional building your career, a Power of Attorney ensures someone can step in and manage your finances or medical care if needed.
If you are married, a Power of Attorney ensures your spouse has the legal ability to handle your affairs without unnecessary delays.
If you are a business owner, a Power of Attorney allows a trusted person to continue operations if you are unable to.
If you are a parent, a Power of Attorney ensures your children’s financial and medical needs are taken care of in case of an emergency.
A Power of Attorney is not about expecting the worst—it is about being prepared so that your loved ones are not left struggling if the unexpected happens.
The best time to put a Power of Attorney in place is before you need it.
3. “I Don’t Want to Give Up My Independence” (Good News: You Won’t.)
One of the most common fears people have about signing a Power of Attorney is that they will lose control over their own affairs. Many believe that once they sign the document, their chosen agent will immediately have full authority to make decisions on their behalf, even if they are still fully capable of doing so. This is simply not true.
A Power of Attorney does not take away your independence—it protects it. In fact, you remain in full control of your finances and healthcare decisions for as long as you are capable of making them yourself. Your agent only steps in when it becomes absolutely necessary.
Here’s how it actually works:
A Power of Attorney is a safety net. It does not immediately transfer power to someone else unless you choose for it to be effective right away. Instead, it ensures that if something happens and you cannot make decisions for yourself, a person you trust is already legally authorized to step in and help.
You choose who your agent is. This is not a decision made by the court or left up to chance. You decide who you want to act on your behalf, and you can set clear guidelines on what they can and cannot do.
You can set limitations. If you are worried about giving too much control, you can specify exactly what powers your agent has, when they can act, and under what circumstances.
You can revoke or change it at any time. If at any point you change your mind about who should serve as your agent, you can update or revoke your Power of Attorney.
Real-Life Scenario: Protecting Independence, Not Taking It Away
Margaret is 68 years old and still very active. She enjoys traveling, volunteers regularly, and manages her own finances. When her attorney suggests that she put a Power of Attorney in place, she hesitates. “I don’t want someone else making decisions for me,” she says.
Her attorney explains that signing a Power of Attorney does not mean giving up control. It simply means that if she ever faces a medical emergency or becomes temporarily incapacitated, her daughter, whom she trusts completely, can pay her bills, manage her bank accounts, and ensure she receives the care she needs. Until that happens, Margaret continues making all of her own financial and healthcare decisions just as she always has.
Several months later, Margaret has an unexpected surgery and is heavily sedated for several days while recovering. Because she had a Power of Attorney in place, her daughter was able to take care of her household bills and work with the hospital on her medical needs—without delay or legal complications. Once Margaret recovered, she resumed full control of her affairs without any interruption.
A Power of Attorney Gives You More Control, Not Less
A Power of Attorney does not mean handing over control of your life—it means ensuring that if something happens, you are the one deciding who helps you rather than leaving that decision up to the court.
It protects your wishes, not overrides them.
It ensures continuity in your financial and medical decisions, avoiding legal roadblocks.
It only goes into effect when needed, not before.
A Power of Attorney is about preparation, not loss of independence. The real loss of control happens when you don’t have one and a court has to step in to appoint someone on your behalf.
Take control of your future by making sure your decisions stay in the hands of those you trust. Call our office today to put a Power of Attorney in place.
4. “I Don’t Need a POA Right Now” (Actually, You Do.)
Let’s talk about Linda, a 68-year-old retiree. She’s active, healthy, and enjoys traveling. Her attorney suggests she create a Power of Attorney, but she brushes it off. “Maybe when I’m older,” she says.
Fast forward two years—Linda has a sudden stroke. She can’t communicate. Her children are locked out of her financial accounts and can’t access her retirement funds to pay for her care. Now, they have to go through an expensive court process to get guardianship.
If Linda had signed a POA earlier, her family could have immediately stepped in to help. Instead, they’re stuck in legal limbo while trying to care for her.
I had my own personal experience with this very fact pattern. You see, my dad, had a sudden stroke and lost his ability to speak. Luckily, contrary to Linda, he did have his financial and medical power of attorney documents in place. So, my mom was, and still is, able to make decisions for him.
A POA isn’t about age—it’s about preparation. The best time to create one is before you need it. Don’t wait. Make sure you create one now.
I like to use the example of car insurance when I’m talking about powers of attorney documents with my clients. I ask them why they have car insurance. Not one client has ever looked at me and said “I have car insurance because I plan on getting into an accident.” Instead, they say something along the lines of “I have insurance IN CASE I get into an accident.”
And, that my friends is the same reason you have powers of attorney documents in place. They are there just in case you need them. Hopefully you will never need those documents. But, if you are ever in a situation where you do need them, you will be thankful you completed those documents.
Protect Yourself and Your Loved Ones—Start Now
Here’s the bottom line: A Power of Attorney isn’t just a legal document—it’s peace of mind. It ensures that if life throws the unexpected your way, the people you trust can step in and help, without court delays or financial nightmares.
Ready to get started?
Don’t wait until it’s too late. Schedule a consultation today and let’s get your POA in place. Your future self—and your loved ones—will thank you.
We will walk you through different scenarios that may arise. We’ll help you come up with answer to those scenarios to make sure you receive the care you would want.
We will also talk through the people in your life to help you choose the persons YOU want to make decisions for you if needed
Your family’s future is too important to leave to chance. Let’s take the first step together. Call my office today at (919) 336-4219 or schedule a 15 minute Discovery Call to learn more about how how we can help you.
Kristen Mackintosh, The Happy Lawyer
Your trusted partner in estate planning and elder law in Garner, NC.
